Productive anxiety is a term that I used started using in my therapy sessions when I opened up my private practice in 2020. When I started using the term, I was referring to the need to be productive. The need to cross all of the things off of the to-do list. The need to be productive and use the day to the best of our ability. To be as most efficient as possible with our time, our scheduling and our finances.
These may all seem like positive goals to continue to strive for. The problem is not with being productive. The problem comes when life shows up and we are unable to follow through with being productive.
The need to be productive typically stems from the childhood belief that ‘I am not good enough.” We believe that if we are productive enough, then we must be good enough.
Sometimes this works and we are able to cross all of the things off of the to-do list and accomplish all of the tasks and we feel on top of the world. We feel in fact good enough. However, a lot of times life shows up or our expectations are unrealistic and we are not able to cross all of the things off of the list or use all of our time and finances in the most efficient way possible and then we are left feeling irritated and resentful. Our old childhood belief continues to be justified and we continue to believe that we are not good enough.
Some common symptoms of productive anxiety—
Perfectionism: We are fixated on doing things perfectly.
Fear of Failure: We are afraid of making mistakes and have difficulty admitting wrong.
Guilt about Rest: We have difficulty allowing ourselves to rest without feeling guilty. We feel that rest is something that is earned.
All or Nothing Mentality: If we cannot do all of it, then we will do none of it.
Suffer from Comparison: We often compare ourselves to others, especially on social media.
Negative Self Talk: We speak to ourselves negatively when we are not productive. We feel lazy or worthless resting.
Typically, if we have productive anxiety we are very high functioning and have difficulty sitting still. On the outside we look totally put together and on the inside we are feeling worthless, not good enough and burnt out. Even though we continue to crush most of our goals, we are constantly left feeling like we could be doing more.
Some ways to cope with productive anxiety—
Self Care: We can challenge ourselves to spend some of our time and energy on activities solely for ourselves. The more we make ourselves a priority, the more we feel like priority. This builds our esteem and confidence within ourselves.
Stop Multi-Tasking: Challenge ourselves to focus only on one task at a time. This is difficult, however when we do this we are able to be more efficient, present in the moment and have overall less anxious thoughts.
Give Ourselves Grace: It does not all have to get done today. Anything that does not get accomplished today can roll over into the next day or the next week.
Set Boundaries: Know when our cup is full and be able to say no to others when we cannot take on more responsibilities and/or commitments.
Challenge ourselves to rest: Sit still. Have a Netflix and chill day. If negative thoughts come up, challenge them. Our body and mind literally needs rest to function properly.
Seek Professional Help: Add therapy into your self care routine to help with implementing coping mechanisms and accountability.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hey, I'm Brooke --I'm a licensed anxiety and addiction therapist serving individuals, adolescents and couples in the states of New Jersey, Delaware and Florida. My experience brings both a personal and professional perspective to the work that I do with my clients. If you are interested in learning more about the therapy process and would like to schedule a free consultation, I would love to chat with you!
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